If you've ever been lied to, betrayed, cheated on or have experienced the excruciating pain of infidelity in your marriage then welcome to the "Kicked in the Gut Club", as the category of being cheated on is as old as time and is unfortunately a very common hurtful experience that both men and women will likely experience in their lifetime. But know this: you will get through it and survive! Betrayal, and the hurt that comes with it, is no fun, but here are 10 feminine ways to nurse yourself back to life when your man or (your woman) is a liar:
  1. Get tested. The first thing that a woman should do when she finds out that her partner has betrayed her trust with infidelity is to go to the doctor immediately. Without getting tested you won't know your HIV status, you herpes status, and moving forward you will not be able to be sexually safe with someone else. Feminine women put their sexual health and their self care first, foremost and always.
  2. Stop having sex with the person who cheated on you. When we sleep with the people who betrayed us we are essentially invalidating our feelings of betrayal by making them the prize. So stop having sex with a person you do not trust because as it stands they do not have your best interest and they certainly do not respect themselves or you.
  3. Never allow a person to blame your for THEIR low value behavior. A man that blames you for his cheating is a manipulator, a gas lighter and a detestable clown. 
  4. Grieve. Give yourself permission to grieve, cry, scream and shout; but do it privately. You do yourself no favors by begging the person who cheated on for answers. Cheating is inexcusable and that is your answer.  So no groveling ladies; it is unladylike. Feminine women do not beg because begging is anti-seductive and will give the person who disrespected you the gumption and the audacity to steam roll and dog walk you.
  5. Enlist Help. If you cannot get over the betrayal or if the hurt is extremely intense; get a therapist. If you are overwhelmed by the emotions of low self-esteem, shame and guilt then more than likely your triggered pain is historical. Two great places to start are therapyforblackgirls.com or betterhelp.com. Do not be the black girl or the strong independent woman who brags about doing it all alone and not having a support system. Provided for women and feminine women do not pride themselves in handling life without support.
  6. Get in your feminine. The best way to hit the reset button of our feminine divine is to get a makeover. Do your hair, nails, get a pedicure, buy a dress, get your hair trimmed, take bubble baths, watch silly movies, declutter your junky and confused living space and get IN FORMATION.
  7. Stop focusing on the person he cheated on you with. She is not the problem; he is. So what she's obese, so what her arms are flabby and her stomach folds? So what her teeth are yellow? What she looks like is not the issue; the issue is your man's low character.
  8. If your cheating man has left you for good; never take him back. Never go back to what broke you because 99 percent of the time when a man abandons us there is an even better man on the way! And my hypergamous motto has always been: "Men are like buses and trains; there is always another one coming." And this adage is even true in the midst of The Covid-19 Pandemic!
  9. Take a trip or invest in a nice staycation. Feminine women understand the art of recharging their batteries and pouring the love that they've waisted on others by pouring that into themselves.
  10. If the cheater is a narcissist they will not get better.  Narcissistic personalities are permanently damaged souls who do not get better because they are permanently defective and damaged due to their stunted emotional maturity and their toxic poisonous egos. And again, see a therapist so that you will never ever attract a narcissist again, if you don't, then you'll run the risk of bumping your head against the wall again.
  11. Read feminine self help books. They are so many feminine books that are lifestyle game changers and a great book to read for starters is "Getting to I Do" by Dr. Patricia Allen. And you can always join my Feminine Book Club community for more even more feminine book ideas.
  12. To Forgive or Not? Well that all depends on your temperament, your tolerance, the amount of time and money invested in the romantic relationship, and the desire of both partners to make an amends, to get therapy and to come to a healthy amicable understanding where true healing can take place. So in other words,  forgiveness will be a mountain that both partners will have to climb together. 
  13. Become an inside out high value woman.  Beyond the lipstick and the dresses, high value women are committed to the mindset of self-love, being provided for,  and investing strongly in the feminine principle to attract and SUSTAIN high quality suitors. Becoming high value will not happen over night but with commitment and focus the sky is truly the limit!
Want to stand out and apart from the masculine herd? Want to trade in your frumpiness for the juiciness of womanhood? Want an elevated life? Then Join The New Feminine Finishing School. The New Feminine is an exclusive online Finishing School that offers unlimited feminine strategy and mindset advice on dating, etiquette, seduction, and learning how to keep high value men interested by using proven strategies that work. At the New Feminine our number one goal is helping women to learn how to succeed at being provided for and becoming a femininely confident Hypergamous woman!  XO, Chloe.