I've been wanting to address A HUUUGE Elephant in the Hypergamous Room.

...and that's the third rail politics of Dark Skin and 4C Hair. 

Especially when it comes to Femininity, Hypergamy and dating men of means.

And this is a very sensitive lightening Rod Topic to address for Black Women.

But it must be ADDRESSED.

Now a Little Background: I'm a brown woman. A little lighter than Michelle Obama. 

And I naturally have 4C Textured Hair. 

But I currently (and unapologetically) wear my hair relaxed.

And in my 36 years of life. I've done it all. And I've seen it all when it comes to Black Hair.

I've purchased every product and potion when it comes to managing and maintaining my Black Hair.

I've done the BIG CHOP.
I'VE had a TWA. (Teeny Weeny Afro)
I've had locks.
(Got tired of those.)
I did another Big Chop.
I've worn Summer Braids.
I've worn Vacation Braids.
I've worn wigs.
I've gotten relaxers. 
I had a relaxer pixie cut like Monica and Halle Berry
(Too High Maintenance!)
I've worn Clip In Hair Extensions....Both 4C Textured Extensions and Relaxed.

Black Hair can be exhausting.

But as Black Women the choices on how we ultimately choose to wear our hair; is very personal. 

I personally think that Hair Policing and being a Natural Nazi is SUPER PLAYED OUT. 

No one should feel entitled to PUNISH, HARASS, SCOLD, OR, CONTROL how a Black woman chooses to wear her hair because it's HER HAIR AND HER CHOICE. (TF!)

And I think that black women who shame other black women on how they choose to wear their hair are ultimately being Masculine Bullies. 

And Bullies can Kick Rocks.

With that being said.

I think all Black Hair is beautiful. 

Especially when its laid!

But that doesn't mean that I don't understand that 4C Black Hair and that Dark Skin on BLACK women is highly political and Sensitive AF.

And unfortunately it is an inescapable reality that many DARK Skinned black women have to deal with.

More specifically how Black Men of Means tend to respond to Darker Skinned Women and 4c Textured Hair.

And Unfortunately with Many Black Men there is a Dysfunctional attraction BIAS against Darker Skinned Black women; especially if that woman has 4c Textured hair.

And The Rabbit Hole of Historical Dysfunction when it comes to Black Hair Politics and Colorism is Super DEEP.

But Colorism simply cannot be avoided when talking about Hypergamy and Femininity as it pertains to Black women.

Now just to let you know: I'm brown girl.

Most of my sisters are Dark Skin. 

I have over 10 sisters. 

So I have a lot of experienced Man Hours with Women as we are complicated creatures.

Some of my sisters are relaxed, some are natural...some wear wigs. 

Some have an hourglass figure, some have an athletic body type, some are naturally thin, some are curvy plus size with a defined waist line and some are BBW.

And all of my sisters depending on their body shape, their height, their weight, their complexion and how they wear their hair...

...tend to attract different kinds of men...

...some don't attract any MEN at all....

Now as for Hypergamy and Femininity...The Elephant in the Room is Men.

Particularly men who can PROVIDE and Men of means.

And this is where things can get pretty sensitive. 

Are many black men and black people in general brainwashed and damaged from generational curses, generations of systematic oppression and global white supremacy?


And unfortunately this brainwashing includes black men and black People all around the globe. 

From Nigeria to Jamaica to Down South to the West Coast to the Dominican Republic...

Many Black Men no matter the culture tend to see lighter skinned, mixed, and white women as a come up!

And unfortunately The Damaged and Dysfunctional mindsets of Black People around the globe is a conditioned state of mind and a toxic poison that is embedded in the fabric of who we are as black people!

So when it comes to Black Men and Hypergamy most black men of means (and when I say of means I mean men who have the means to provide) will be attracted to women who are of lighter skinned, mixed or white women. 

Those are just FACTS.

Because brainwashed Black men they tend to associate Dark Skin and 4C textured hair with a lower socio-economic status.

And this is a bitter pill to swallow.

And I know that Black women get very triggered when they hear this and they get very angry and upset with Black men who privately and publicly devalue their beauty.

But the good news is that not all Black men are brainwashed!

Not all men of means are brainwashed! 

And there are a lot of men who See Darker Skinned Feminine Black Women as covetable and attractive!

And more importantly: ALL YOU NEED IS ONE!

But the irritation and the frustration with Many Black Women is that Black Women ultimately tend to prefer black men!

Black Women as a WHOLE ARE highly resistive to divesting.

So getting a black man who can provide and protect makes competition INTENSE.

And Many Black women do not see white men as a consolation prize... even though the IRONY IS THAT Many WHITE MEN of means tend to gravitate towards towards the very same women that black men of means tend to reject!

But there is a rainbow and a light at the end of the tunnel here.

ALL men are wired to be attracted feminine women!

And this is where Black Women have true agency and power.

Black women cannot Wholesale fix a brainwashed society.
Black women cannot Wholesale fix Brainwashed black men.

And Black Women should no longer feel obligated to fix OR repair damaged Black Men!

Black women need to drop their "pick me"... "fixer upper"mindsets by focusing on themselves!

Black women need to leave Dummy Black Men Alone.

Because Black Men who are arrogant and ignorant tend to suffer at the hands of their own ignorance!

Black women can take their power back by investing in their femininity and putting their femininity first no matter their complexion or hair text texture.

Black Women do not have to accept STRUGGLE LOVE.

Black women can stop attracting Bumbs.

Black Women do not have to procreate with Dusties.

Black women can stop putting themselves last.

Black women can put themselves on a PEDASTAL.

Black women can stop being the cliche, the statistic and the punchline!

And Black Women can do it all with Hypergamy.


Tired of Role Reversal and Being a Masculine Woman? Serious about becoming a better you? Want your specific questions about dating and femininity answered? 

Then Join The New Feminine

The New Feminine is a One time Fee Based Members Only Group that offer unlimited game, strategies, feminine tips, advice on marriage, losing weight, dating quality men and where to find them, femininity, seduction and learning how to keep men interested by using proven strategies that work.

At The New Feminine our number one goal is helping women learn how to succeed at being provided for by masculine men. So to be a part of a growing movement of women who are there to help each other succeed send us a message at The New Feminine or email us at thehypergamouslife@gmail.com 



  1. Hi there from a community in the UK where out of the ISM it isn't about colour but race still! I feel like Ive been under a rock lol. How do you know your husband is making a difference between shades of people?
    Thank you I like your topics and your style is on point.

  2. I wanted to leave a little comment to support you and wish you a good continuation. Wishing you the best of luck for all your blogging efforts. best microdermabrasion machine

  3. First up is the FD&C Act. This law denies the showcasing of mis-marked beautifying agents in interstate trade. Infringement because of item fixings cause beautifying agents to be dependent upon administrative activity.laser hair removal in Manhattan

  4. This shaver head encourages the sharp edge to trim hair regardless of whether it is from other course.best electric shaver india

  5. As a general rule patients inhale with more trouble after the nose work medical procedure than previously.nose hair trimmer for women

  6. one thing that i like about the blog could be that the information is very helpful and keeps one informed on issues related to politics.  is castor oil good for eczema

  7. Coconut is a natural moisturizer for hair which stimulates the growth of hair by nourishing the follicles with its essential amino acids to promote healthy long hair. Garlic is enriched with anti-inflammatory properties which prevent the scalp from infections and dandruff. The combination of these two ingredients helps you to get long silky hair without any harm.

    cbd oil reverse hair loss

  8. You can likewise apply nectar to dry fixes on the face five minutes before a warm shower or shower.skincare porducts

  9. I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post. ด๊อกเตอร์จิว

  10. Cold breezes and low temperatures can dry out skin, denying it of adjusted degrees of sebum (oil) that keeps skin greased up. Without these oils, skin gets dry, and is increasingly inclined to untimely maturing due to the absence of defensive oils. IV Vitamin C

  11. Acai berry has no reported side effects. It can also be used on a daily basis as part of a well-balanced diet. Include other healthy foods into your diet along with the acai berry weight loss supplement leptitox reviews

  12. We have sell some products of different custom boxes.it is very useful and very low price please visits this site thanks and please share this post with your friends. skin whitening cream

  13. I have always wanted to put a pop of fun color in my hair but never would because of the harmful chemicals. While others want my hair color, don’t get me wrong, I love it too, I would love to add some more highlights on black hair

  14. In the event that you are a hair beautician proficient, unquestionably put resources into an expert evaluation hair clippers unit.Buy hair clipper in India

  15. Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! acne extraction

  16. I don t have the time at the moment to fully read your site but I have bookmarked it and also add your RSS feeds. I will be back in a day or two. thanks for a great site. Henna Hair Dye

  17. Welcome to Russian Hair Extensions Salon, your most reliable Hair Extensions London Specialist in delivering the most modern, innovative and celebrity hairstyle looks, creating custom-made hair extensions for each client. Our team of skilled, trained and experienced professionals will give you the hair extensions for all hair types and guarantees you a seamless finish as well as the industry’s best quality of hair care and boost your confidence to the next level. Clip-In Hair Extensions London

  18. I am overwhelmed by your post with such a nice topic. Usually I visit your blogs and get updated through the information you include but today’s blog would be the most appreciable. Well done! wigs for women

  19. Excellent and very exciting site. Love to watch. Keep Rocking. permanent makeup machine

  20. I was reading some of your content on this website and I conceive this internet site is really informative ! Keep on putting up. top 5 hair cutting machine in India

  21. This is absolutely a large plus as you won't have to bother about annoying anybody around you while you are hair cutting or shaving. top hair cutting machine in India

  22. Keep up the washing of your hair at regular intervals to evade reason for harm and breakage. biotin shampoo and conditioner