I've been wanting to address A HUUUGE Elephant in the Hypergamous Room.

...and that's the third rail politics of Dark Skin and 4C Hair. 

Especially when it comes to Femininity, Hypergamy and dating men of means.

And this is a very sensitive lightening Rod Topic to address for Black Women.

But it must be ADDRESSED.

Now a Little Background: I'm a brown woman. A little lighter than Michelle Obama. 

And I naturally have 4C Textured Hair. 

But I currently (and unapologetically) wear my hair relaxed.

And in my 36 years of life. I've done it all. And I've seen it all when it comes to Black Hair.

I've purchased every product and potion when it comes to managing and maintaining my Black Hair.

I've done the BIG CHOP.
I'VE had a TWA. (Teeny Weeny Afro)
I've had locks.
(Got tired of those.)
I did another Big Chop.
I've worn Summer Braids.
I've worn Vacation Braids.
I've worn wigs.
I've gotten relaxers. 
I had a relaxer pixie cut like Monica and Halle Berry
(Too High Maintenance!)
I've worn Clip In Hair Extensions....Both 4C Textured Extensions and Relaxed.

Black Hair can be exhausting.

But as Black Women the choices on how we ultimately choose to wear our hair; is very personal. 

I personally think that Hair Policing and being a Natural Nazi is SUPER PLAYED OUT. 

No one should feel entitled to PUNISH, HARASS, SCOLD, OR, CONTROL how a Black woman chooses to wear her hair because it's HER HAIR AND HER CHOICE. (TF!)

And I think that black women who shame other black women on how they choose to wear their hair are ultimately being Masculine Bullies. 

And Bullies can Kick Rocks.

With that being said.

I think all Black Hair is beautiful. 

Especially when its laid!

But that doesn't mean that I don't understand that 4C Black Hair and that Dark Skin on BLACK women is highly political and Sensitive AF.

And unfortunately it is an inescapable reality that many DARK Skinned black women have to deal with.

More specifically how Black Men of Means tend to respond to Darker Skinned Women and 4c Textured Hair.

And Unfortunately with Many Black Men there is a Dysfunctional attraction BIAS against Darker Skinned Black women; especially if that woman has 4c Textured hair.

And The Rabbit Hole of Historical Dysfunction when it comes to Black Hair Politics and Colorism is Super DEEP.

But Colorism simply cannot be avoided when talking about Hypergamy and Femininity as it pertains to Black women.

Now just to let you know: I'm brown girl.

Most of my sisters are Dark Skin. 

I have over 10 sisters. 

So I have a lot of experienced Man Hours with Women as we are complicated creatures.

Some of my sisters are relaxed, some are natural...some wear wigs. 

Some have an hourglass figure, some have an athletic body type, some are naturally thin, some are curvy plus size with a defined waist line and some are BBW.

And all of my sisters depending on their body shape, their height, their weight, their complexion and how they wear their hair...

...tend to attract different kinds of men...

...some don't attract any MEN at all....

Now as for Hypergamy and Femininity...The Elephant in the Room is Men.

Particularly men who can PROVIDE and Men of means.

And this is where things can get pretty sensitive. 

Are many black men and black people in general brainwashed and damaged from generational curses, generations of systematic oppression and global white supremacy?


And unfortunately this brainwashing includes black men and black People all around the globe. 

From Nigeria to Jamaica to Down South to the West Coast to the Dominican Republic...

Many Black Men no matter the culture tend to see lighter skinned, mixed, and white women as a come up!

And unfortunately The Damaged and Dysfunctional mindsets of Black People around the globe is a conditioned state of mind and a toxic poison that is embedded in the fabric of who we are as black people!

So when it comes to Black Men and Hypergamy most black men of means (and when I say of means I mean men who have the means to provide) will be attracted to women who are of lighter skinned, mixed or white women. 

Those are just FACTS.

Because brainwashed Black men they tend to associate Dark Skin and 4C textured hair with a lower socio-economic status.

And this is a bitter pill to swallow.

And I know that Black women get very triggered when they hear this and they get very angry and upset with Black men who privately and publicly devalue their beauty.

But the good news is that not all Black men are brainwashed!

Not all men of means are brainwashed! 

And there are a lot of men who See Darker Skinned Feminine Black Women as covetable and attractive!

And more importantly: ALL YOU NEED IS ONE!

But the irritation and the frustration with Many Black Women is that Black Women ultimately tend to prefer black men!

Black Women as a WHOLE ARE highly resistive to divesting.

So getting a black man who can provide and protect makes competition INTENSE.

And Many Black women do not see white men as a consolation prize... even though the IRONY IS THAT Many WHITE MEN of means tend to gravitate towards towards the very same women that black men of means tend to reject!

But there is a rainbow and a light at the end of the tunnel here.

ALL men are wired to be attracted feminine women!

And this is where Black Women have true agency and power.

Black women cannot Wholesale fix a brainwashed society.
Black women cannot Wholesale fix Brainwashed black men.

And Black Women should no longer feel obligated to fix OR repair damaged Black Men!

Black women need to drop their "pick me"... "fixer upper"mindsets by focusing on themselves!

Black women need to leave Dummy Black Men Alone.

Because Black Men who are arrogant and ignorant tend to suffer at the hands of their own ignorance!

Black women can take their power back by investing in their femininity and putting their femininity first no matter their complexion or hair text texture.

Black Women do not have to accept STRUGGLE LOVE.

Black women can stop attracting Bumbs.

Black Women do not have to procreate with Dusties.

Black women can stop putting themselves last.

Black women can put themselves on a PEDASTAL.

Black women can stop being the cliche, the statistic and the punchline!

And Black Women can do it all with Hypergamy.


Tired of Role Reversal and Being a Masculine Woman? Serious about becoming a better you? Want your specific questions about dating and femininity answered? 

Then Join The New Feminine

The New Feminine is a One time Fee Based Members Only Group that offer unlimited game, strategies, feminine tips, advice on marriage, losing weight, dating quality men and where to find them, femininity, seduction and learning how to keep men interested by using proven strategies that work.

At The New Feminine our number one goal is helping women learn how to succeed at being provided for by masculine men. So to be a part of a growing movement of women who are there to help each other succeed send us a message at The New Feminine or email us at thehypergamouslife@gmail.com 


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